I have a confession to make – I do not have what it takes to be a wedding planner. Being a wedding planner takes thick skin, something that I am clearly lacking. I get offended when I read comments on a post that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me! I take things WAY too personally, and that is a definite flaw when you’re being paid to deal with difficult people.

HOW DO I RECONCILE MY INABILITY TO STAY NEUTRAL AND EMOTIONLESS WITH THIS NECESSARY PERSONALITY TRAIT IN A WEDDING PLANNER?

I’m going to deviate from that question quickly to bring up something that my husband said recently. He’s a therapist, and has some intriguing ways of dealing with difficult situations. For example, we went on a road trip last week and ended up going about thirty miles in the wrong direction, all because I wasn’t paying attention. I was really upset about the whole thing until my husband suggested that I see it as an episode of Friends. You know, The One with the Phở in Chino (we ended up pulling over because I needed soup for my soul).

Why does this have anything to do with weddings?

Sometimes, if my husband has a client that is hard on themselves or can’t see the humor in a difficult situation, he tells them to go to one of those sites where you can get your likeness made into a cartoon. You know, like a Simpsons or Family Guy character. It forces you to see yourself in a different context. You’re still you, of course, but you’re more able to see the situation removed from yourself.

I’ve been doing this for a long time, though I only recently realized it. Alter egos are essential in business, regardless of what you do. Creating an alter ego that is able to think on their feet and deal with difficult situations and people is a skill that you can stash away in your wedding planning toolbox.

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When chaneling your alter ego, you can put your own personality aside to deal with situations and issues as needed. You ARE NOT your alter ego, but they are you. They are a version of you that YOU control and created. This gives you the upper hand – you no longer need to feel guilty about asking for payment, or being stern with a vendor because they aren’t holding up their end of the deal. Because YOU aren’t the one dealing with them. It’s your alter ego.

So, what characteristics does my alter ego posses?

• The ability to think quickly and creatively on her feet.
• The ability to see situations as they are without the cloud of fear or judgement.
• The ability to stay calm in stressful settings.
• An unwavering confidence in her abilities and talents as a wedding planner, and knowledge that her work is valuable to her clients.

I can feel safe knowing that my alter ego has the ability to deal with anything, whether it’s a toppling cake or drunk guest. By chaneling my alter ego, I no longer feel guilty about being stern with people or expecting that everyone involved is putting in their maximum effort and potential. Because she’s a badass in three inch heels, and she knows it.